Notes On: Wolves and Escapism
I am a firm believer in books finding us at the right TIME instead of this whole, the right book for the right reader, nonsense.
As a reminder, I am challenging myself to an Instagram free summer!
I welcome connections here and look forward to the friendships that continue to blossom away from a platform that is no longer working for me this season.
What I’m READING this week:
I’ll answer in a moment but it requires a bit of context.
Inside me there are two wolves…
One of those wolves can easily get swept away by hype. If it’s “making waves” it must be valuable, right? If “everyone” is reading that book, it must be out of this world!
In some cases, that’s proven true, and I’m grateful for it. Sarah J Maas easily changed my life and she’s on her way to becoming one of the most popular and prolific writers of our generation.
But other times … I catch myself reaching out and touching the hot stove of cultural hysteria that “popular” trends or books cook on.
Only to get burned. Then I get mad.
“I knew better,” will tumble from my lips before the book is over. Closing it, I’ll look around and ask, “What the hell am I missing here?”
Thankfully this happens way less now that I am, *hair toss*, graduating my Saturn Return…
Which leads me to the other wolf.
The one who side-eyes anything popular with a heavy dose of cynicism and *puffs on her imaginary cigarette* refuses to risk getting burned again.
She calls it discernment! She turns a cold shoulder to books set up on display tables because she knows the insider games of the publication world! She revels in discovering the un-popular!
She is also sometimes wrong.
All of this to say—I consciously avoided Emily Henry books…until this week!
I’m currently reading: BEACH READ because of this article by
.I am a firm believer in books finding us at the right TIME instead of this whole, the right book for the right reader, nonsense. I’m a different reader today than I was yesterday. This book will impact me in a way it couldn’t possibly do five years ago.
I’m about halfway through BEACH READ and so grateful that I gave both of the wolves inside me a chew toy instead of warring over whether or not I should read this novel just because it’s popular or because EM HEN is now a household name.
The book is fantastic.
It is indeed a clever trojan horse. It poses as a “beach read” or whimsical romance but slips in the most beautiful prose, revelations, and characterization.
Will I read more of her books? To be determined.
Also inside me are two bookworms: one is reading BEACH READ during the day and the other is reading ONE DARK WINDOW by Rachel Gillig at night. See? Even my reading schedule follows the rhythm of nature!
What I’m EATING this week:
It’s been 25 days of NO take-out, NO comfort food from my favorite restaurants, and ALL homemade food.
Of course on the surface, this sounds like making a different choice for my health. But it’s been a practice of staying.
The most surprising insight I’ve gained (beyond the obvious glow in my skin and increased energy) is how much my desire and impulse to get take-out is connected to how tired I am or how much I’m seeking an escape.
But as I am getting older and wiser my willpower is getting stronger. Something that continues to surprise me (and everyone around me).
So, it’s been 25 days of staying.
I stay true to my promise instead of buckling at my knees and letting the pressure of needing a distraction or a break or an escape have its way with me.
It’s almost like quitting Instagram gave my mind and spirit the momentum to ask: “ok, what’s next? We’re on a roll here, Nik!”
My teacher (Katonah Yoga) Nevine used to say: The measure of a practice is how you feel thirty minutes after it.
Do I feel amazing after take-out or restaurant food thirty minutes later? The truth, as inconvenient as possible, is typically a resounding “absolutely not.”
But when I keep the promise to myself to stay—I always feel incredible thirty minutes later. Every, single, time.
Trust me, I wanted to be wrong. I wanted to say, “Ha! I feel worse for making food at home and having everyone congregate around me and keep me company and make memories together while we enjoy something I put my heart in! Ha! Loser!”
But of course, that isn’t the case lol.
One day last week I almost gave in to something fast on the road…yet when we got home, my daughter learned how to cut vegetables and fruit with her mini knife and cutting board because I decided to stay.
Her pride and those memories are worth so much more than temporary discomfort.
So, cheers to making the urge to escape work a little harder to make us buckle. Let’s make it chase us, instead of the other way around.
I’m genuinely starting to enjoy puffing up my chest and challenging my challenges … ok maybe not enjoy, but I do find that I am avoiding my reflection less and less as I face those long avoided areas in my life.
The ones that needed a little less distracting from and a lot more love and discernment and awareness instead…
But if you need a warm, gooey, hug on your emotional journey of introspection this Cancer season, please make these cookies.
BANANA BREAD CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES
After all these years, I finally DID IT! I used up two blackened bananas on my counter with perfect timing.
I recommend making these cookies with a tiny scooper, yielding a ton of mini banana bread cookies that feel like a perfect end of day treat (with vanilla ice cream!)
P.S. Read instructions carefully. Dough will be wet, don’t over bake either :)
What I’m PLAYING this week:
Range by Kara Duval (click here) is a daily staple in my house as much as the Trolls soundtrack playlist.
I never thought I would move on from Katonah Yoga but my body craves the differentiation, the story-telling, and the incredible movement patterns that Range offers.
It’s a low pressure environment. It requires very little equipment. And it just feels really good on my body thirty minutes after I do it (the mark of a great practice, remember.)
If you’ve never tried a pilates class you might find yourself so pleasantly surprised with the options and how Kara does not emanate the whole “hot girls do pilates” sentiment at all.
Her classes feel like being outside. They feel like someone believing in your potential. They encourage you to create deeper awareness with your body instead of valuing physical aesthetics.
This summer heat can feel stifling, agitating, and draining…but we can still tap into our bodies in soothing and healing ways. I turn 32 this weekend and it’s such a privilege and responsibility to treat my body with respect and reverence…this practice helps me do that <3
I trust my body—and my time—with Range.
What I’m OBSESSING over this week:
This reading assessment will breathe life back into your reading habits. Remember how I talked about avoiding my metaphorical reflection in the mirror? That includes my reading habits.
Will I still be reading paranormal romance and fantasy and my annual comfort reads? Duh. But as a former English teacher, I know how crucial it is to read outside of our comfort zones and *wait for it* read beyond the desire to mindlessly escape our world.
I love to escape (said in Dory’s voice, es-capayyyy)—sometimes.
But if we are stuck in the algorithmic loop of “I want a book that was just like this book and it needs to have the same payout / spice / banter / ending / etc.” how will we ever be challenged or changed by literature?
I’m a “yellow reader” and decided to follow the 90 day summer reading plan. On it, are three books I avoided reading in my college lit courses (naturally lol) and I am so excited to dive into the emotional stories that found me again…at the right time!
What I’m RECOMMENDING this week:
This time, I do have a few product recommendations. These are all items I’ve used start to FINISH. They are also women owned businesses whom I love supporting!
What I’m TREATING myself to this week:
Literally, everything, since it’s the first time in 15 days my husband has time off. The moment I send this e-mail, I will either enjoy a 7pm light latte on my porch or a nap…on my porch lol
Birthday pedicure. The bottoms of my feet are lovingly called, Swiffer jets, in my home lol and I feel no shame about it.
Naps, writing, eating, sitting by our driveway pool, and repeating as necessary lol
Writing SATURN and jotting down a few details that keep finding me throughout the weeks for my FLORIDA book…
Protecting my peace, which looks a lot like being honest with myself and less of telling people to leave me alone. Remember that “how you feel 30 mins after” rule? It applies to company as well.
It’s not a bathroom update but I felt compelled to share this lovely costar astrology tidbit today:
Less escaping, less overlooking, and less searching.
It’s all here this season. Waiting for us.
<3
NIKKI LANG
Just now realized here’s where you are, as I’ve been thinking about you lately. So happy to hear your voice mama